Cathedral of Shit

has taken a well earned GAP year

Archive for January, 2010

Banana Balls

Posted by cathedralofshit on January 11, 2010

Just as power cuts and cold snaps result in an explosion in the birth rate nine months later so, it seems, so do downturns in the art market. Staying in and drinking cocoa rather than going out and indulging works wonders for the sperm-count.

Congratulations to Darren Flook and Christabel Stewart, Ryan Gander and Rebecca May Marston, Rodolphe von Hofmannsthal, David Kordansky, Matthew Darbyshire, Emily Pethick and Nils Norman, Catherine Wood (number two on the way), Jimi Lee and (!)Stuart Comer who have either spawned recently or are about to.
Stuart Comer’s baby mother is said to be the heir to a banana billionaire’s billions.

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Posted by cathedralofshit on January 8, 2010

Support the New, Now!
Or erm, not. As previously reported in the art world’s second-favourite blog, ‘Cathedral of Shit’ (we bow in front of you Anita!), the ICA’s membership is draining away despite their groovy marketing slogans. Your Support Makes A Difference!
Indeed, it does – for it might help stop the 30% job cuts which are rumoured at the venerable institution. Now this is a strange story of funding which goes straight over CoS’s bald and wrinkly head – the cash-strapped institute was bailed-out by £1.2 million from the Arts Council Sustain fund (in addition to the regular funding of just over £1.4 million it will receive this year from ACE). However, sources (i.e the disgruntled ex-staffer sitting opposite me here in Mare Street’s KFC chowing down like a grateful tramp into the “boneless special box” that CoS’s expenses extend to) hint that the Sustain Grant came with the condition of greater accessibility – in particular scrapping the day membership fee of a couple of quid to get into the bar. With this fee scrapped, membership plummeted – as the major draw of membership was paying your 30 quid for a year-long pass to late night drinking before getting on the night-bus home and sobbing continuously on the shoulder of an intense and suddenly attractive freelance curator. Brilliant! So if the grease-smeared ex-staffer in front of me is to be believed (and she looks credible to me in her bobbly hat and goatee-disguise), ACE give the ICA a load of cash whilst simultaneously blowing the back doors down of their membership scheme. Genius! Well done, ACE! Top strategy again. What next? Getting rid of all your experts so you can process funding applications from a call centre in Manchester, finding out that it doesn’t work and trying to hire a bunch of out of work art lecturers on the cheap to add expertise? Oops, already done that!
Happy New Year everyone, I’m off for pudding at Metropolis, Hackney’s finest real-ale pub – can anyone lend me 20 quid for a ‘dance’?

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How much Pin could a Pinchuk Chuck if a Pinchuk could Chuck Pin?

Posted by cathedralofshit on January 4, 2010

Hello and welcome back. Did you enjoy your Christmas and New Year? Good.
We spent ours out of the country, in a place where there was no art (no, not Flowers East), so forgive the lack of anything.

First up, is news of Victor Pinchuk’s ‘Future Generation Art Prize’. Despite the promise to “discover, recognize and provide long-term support to a future generation of artists”, we can’t help but feel that in order to support a ‘generation’ of artists, perhaps that money is more widely distributed in chunks to more winners? CoS envisages just one winner sashaying around Kiev dressed head to toe in Dior ‘omme.
It seems 20 artists will be chosen by a selection committee selected by a jury, to then be judged by the jury, despite the fact they were selected by the committee which was initially selected by the jury. Clear? Good.

Here’s the winner of Pinchuk’s Ukrainian prize. This picture doesn’t look like a scene from a satirical tv art comedy at all…

and here’s his winning work:
We can’t wait to see who wins the big prize.

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