Cathedral of Shit

has taken a well earned GAP year

Archive for March, 2010

Commissioney-type Announcements II

Posted by cathedralofshit on March 31, 2010

We’re pretty shocked at the outcome regarding the competition for the Olympic Park project.
What surprising results! Especially as one of the two proposals is from a public-friendly museum stalwart and mainstream/establishment artist.

What a shame he didn’t win and the prize went to Kapoor.

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Commissioney-type Announcements

Posted by cathedralofshit on March 31, 2010

Two big commissioney-type announcements hitting the radio-waves in CoS’s high-rise here in Homerton:
Mike Nelson for the British Pavilion in Venice.
Anish Kapoor for the Olympic Park
CoS says: one will be a dark, twisty interior space where viewers feel lost and weirded-out. The other a light, twisty interior-exterior space where viewers can eat in the revolving restaurant.

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Think Local…

Posted by cathedralofshit on March 31, 2010

Whilst the ICA struggles to make ends meet – the Whitechapel Art Gallery has found a cunning way round financial issues – make your one show of the year that charges the one that aims directly at the local community. Anyone wanting to see ‘Where Three Dreams Cross – 150 years of Photography from India, Pakistan and Bangladesh’ – have to shell out £8.50 each. Surely this is nothing to do with the fact that the Whitechapel sits in the middle of the biggest Indian, Pakistani and Bangladeshi community in London?! Surely not?

Nice to see the Whitechapel continuing a long tradition of milking the old colonies for every penny they can.

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Elephant Spunk

Posted by cathedralofshit on March 31, 2010

Here at Cathedral of Shit we love celebrities doing charitable things for poor people and animals. So we say YES to Lindsay Lohan saving trafficked children in India.
And we say YES to the great exhibition of elephant sculptures about to descend on London streets in aid of the (wait for it!) elephant. There are some REALLY GREAT artists involved who have decorated the elephants: Mark Quinn, Graeme Le Saux, Jack Vettriano, Harland Miller, Tommy Hilfiger, Jitish Kallat, Sir Paul Smith, HRH Ranjit Singh Gazewad, Storm Thorgenson, Nicky Haslam, HRH Prince Michael of Kent and Mr Spunky (I kid you not).
DO SAY: isn’t this just totally fucking marvelous and Mark Quinn’s career is really gathering pace.
DON’T SAY: this is an unnecessarily public suicide-note for the careers of any of the semi-serious artists involved (that would be Mr Spunky!).
Save the elephant! And the rhino while we’re at it! And the ICA!

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Riddle Me THIS.

Posted by cathedralofshit on March 30, 2010

Apres the fucking deluge or what!? After our summary of the Matthew Collings quizshow, the Richard Wentworth twigs and branches show and the Sarah McCrory Nigerian Lottery scam, news reaches our delicate years of YET ANOTHER BORING FUCKING ART QUIZ. This time it takes place courtesy of ArtBus – a bus that takes increasingly pissed posh art collector ladies to far off and unreachable galleries like, erm, the Whitechapel. But bollocks to the East End, the ArtBus lots are having their quiz in the Cuckoo Club (no, we have no idea where that is either) and unlike the above three quizzes debates offer DANCING and PETITS FOURS in addition to the litany of boring questions about the exact opening hours of Cabinet Gallery and so on. It’ll also cost you £200 a table with the proceeds going towards taking increasingly pissed posh art collector ladies to far off and unreachable galleries like, erm, the Whitechapel.
Sign up here! Or rather don’t – instead save time and money by doing the decent thing with a revolver in the shed in your back garden. Whatever next? The Art Monthly quiz in a small pub in East Ham with searching questions about the failure of the social history of art posed by Julian Stallabrass and Dave Beech? Give me strength – or at least five pints of Stella and a handsome out-of-work art technician as my “special interest”.

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Quizmasters and Debaters

Posted by cathedralofshit on March 30, 2010

Now that people have stopped buying art and everyone’s realised that biennials are all the same, the art world is at a bit of a loose end. Hence the sudden increase in back-slapping, aren’t-we-all-so-brilliant-and-funny quizzes and debates.
First up was Matthew Collings’ annual art-quiz at the Groucho that took place a couple of weeks ago where apparently our quizmaster dreamt up mad questions combining his own idiosyncratic take on art history with his even more idiosyncratic take on contemporary art. ‘Apparently’ because the CoS team was inadvertently not invited. But we were lurking in the audience at the Saatchi Gallery yesterday where Collings tore into Matthew Slotover in a public school-stylee debate on whether art fairs were a good thing or not. Richard Wentworth wore banknotes on his shirt and asked peculiar-rhetorical questions whilst rubbing twigs together. Jasper Joffe talked movingly about his lack of ambition or success. We think Mr Collings might have been annoyed because his role as artworld quizmaster was usurped by the louche and naughty Simon de Pury – everyone’s favourite bad uncle.
But even his position might be under threat as two unnamed Frieze art fair hackettes are doing some East End version of art quiz in Bistrotheque. They’ve already sent out a weird threatening/pleading email to their art world ‘friends’ making it clear that they’re not in it for the money but if everyone could send them a tenner by return of post, they too can be part of the jolly quiz-grouping and could you strictly not tell anyone else about the quiz or it would spoil it. Not that this sounds like a Nigerian lottery scam or anything, honest.

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(Scottish) Arts Council Watch…

Posted by cathedralofshit on March 28, 2010

Must be nice being a commercial gallery in Scotland.. cheap rents and some nice hand outs from the Scottish Government. Whilst government funded galleries struggle to pay rents and staff, The Modern Institute – who represent such artists as Urs Fischer, Thomas Houseago, Anselm Reyle and Katja Strunz – are receiving grants to attend art fairs.
We also look forward to seeing their ‘dynamic’ website that has been awarded £10,497 – what a wonderful resource for the people of Scotland and beyond.

Some highlights from 2009:

Sorcha Dallas Contemporary Art Limited
£10,000.00 Towards the cost of appointing a Development Manager to assist the organisation in its strategic development.

Sorcha Dallas Contemporary Art Limited
£3,000.00 Towards the cost of supporting commercial contemporary art galleries to research and develop new international markets.

Sorcha Dallas Contemporary Art Ltd
£17,500.00 Towards the cost of 2 key
international Art Fairs – Liste and Frieze.

Mary Mary Gallery
£3,000.00 Towards the cost of supporting
commercial contemporary art galleries to research and develop new international markets.

Mary Mary Gallery
£17,530.00 Towards the cost of attending a series of art fairs both in the UK and internationally.

Toby Webster Ltd
£15,000.00 Towards the cost of a gallery presentation at four International Art Fairs.

Toby Webster Ltd
£10,497.00 Towards creating a dynamic website with full access to the Modern Institute’s archive of exhibitions, artists and projects.

Toby Webster Ltd
£6,000.00 Towards the cost of a series of publications by early career artists, Andrew Kerr and Hayley Tompkins.

Ingleby Gallery
£3,000.00 Towards the cost of the gallery’s attendance at Frieze Art Fair, London in October 2009.

Ingleby Gallery
£3,000.00 Towards the cost of a book to support and celebrate a new body of work by Callum Innes.

£5,000.00 Towards the cost of funding the research and development of a new 126mm film by Nashashibi / Skaer.

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Run Like The Wind

Posted by cathedralofshit on March 19, 2010

When it comes down to basics, the role of the public sector is all about good, hard cash. So hurrah to the Adam Smith Institute for doing the sums and working out that a much more equitable way of getting the public to pay for the arts would be to scrap the Arts Council give everybody an 11 quid voucher per year and asking them to spend it on what they like:


Meanwhile the wholesale import of the team behind the Manchester Festival to run ‘Festival 2012’, (which used to be the Cultural Olympiad) suggests to us that it’s very likely the visual arts component will involve Hans Ulrich Obrist. Tempo del Postino premiered at Manchester and this year he followed that up with “Marina Abramovic Presents…” Mr Obrist’s involvement would be good news all round and raises the exciting prospect of one of Hans Ulrich’s renowned ‘interview marathons’ taking place at roughly the same time as a real marathon. Surely there’s potential for some cross-marathon synergy here? The CoS office is positively aglow at the thought of seeing the famous Swiss curators in a tight pair of long-distance running shorts:


In these.

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More on Zab…

Posted by cathedralofshit on March 16, 2010

Noticed recently that her weapons-manufacturer-turned-property-tycoon husband (Poju Zabludowicz) has been in the news for his very large donations (seem to go into 6 figures) to the Conservative party as part of his pro-Israeli lobbying? Apparently he’s got property in the occupied West Bank.

(thanks for this, you know who you are)…..

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“skin” and “fruit”, are entirely unmemorable unless they combine into something that makes sense, like “fruit salad”

Posted by cathedralofshit on March 12, 2010

It’s not easy being Pulitzer Prize winning writer Sarah Thornton. After the heady success of “Seven Years in Victoria Miro’s private upstairs gallery” (translated into 104 languages and available sale or return £20 for 20 direct from the author), Thornton now pens her thoughts on arts for The Economist. This issue we learn that Sarah has been confused by Armory week. Not only are there lots of fairs, the Armory doesn’t take place in the Armory Building. Instead the ADAA takes place there and the Armory takes place on two cold and badly-laid out piers in the Hudson River. This is news indeed. Then our dear author is confused by ‘The Independent’ which she notes is not easy to google – alas putting a downer on Sarah’s main form of research. By word of mouth, she finds it! Hurrah! She likes the “non-title” of the Whitney Biennial which is called “2010”. However our sage thinks that the ‘New Museum’ might be sunk as the name of the museum is “fatally generic” as her taxi driver can’t find it. But most importantly she is saddened by the title of the New Museum show ‘Skin Fruit’. As a prize-winning author Ms Thornton passes on the observation that “two unconnected nouns, such as “skin” and “fruit” are entirely unmemorable.” Indeed, we say. A bit like “social-anthropologist” and “ligger”. Or “cash” and “I’ll do anything for” (is that a noun, editor?).

See it and weep here.

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