Cathedral of Shit

has taken a well earned GAP year

Archive for April, 2010

Zoo are you kidding?!

Posted by cathedralofshit on April 26, 2010

Word has reached the delicate bud-like earlobes of CoS that the ICA may host Zoo this year during the annual chaos that is Frieze Art Fair week. Apparently approaching those not in Frieze’s new ‘younger’ section, Frame, Soraya Rodriguez seems to be intent on moving it west. It’s rumoured this year to be even LESS fair-like and more ‘exhibition-like’ (perhaps playing on the success of Independent?) .
One grumble from younger gallerists however, is that they may not be interested in setting foot in the ICA until those at the top step down or the administration changes. Having seen friends and associates made redundant due to their sloppy management (understatement – see previous posts and great article on by JJ Charlesworth) many galleries and artists simply aren’t willing to go there.

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The ‘haps’ at the ‘chaps.

Posted by cathedralofshit on April 23, 2010

We couldn’t move last night at the Whitechapel for C-List ‘slebs’ and wall to wall vaguely unfamiliar collectors (“we met once, I forget where/why/what/when etc etc”). Not exactly reaching the heady heights of celebrity-spotting. I tool a piss next to Jack Penate and saw Kate Moss looking shifty whilst watching Bobby Gillespie who looked somewhat uncomfortable.

Apparently the Whitechapel only sold 10% of the tickets available – info backed up by the last minute donation of a few of said to tickets to the CoS “Can We Come To Your Party?” Fund. We were so excited to be actually invited that we felt the need to address the balance by leaving at the end of the night by climbing out of the toilet window and hoping the bouncers wouldn’t see us.

Daily Mail’s horrible coverage here.
Elle’s horrible coverage here.

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That’s Not Art, It’s a Porno Movie

Posted by cathedralofshit on April 22, 2010

This is what the police force must feel like when watching The Bill, or what medics must feel when catching an episode of Casualty. I didn’t know whether to be sick or book a ticket. Maybe I’ll book a ticket and then be sick in the cinema. My own little personal dirty protest:

I’m An Artist

Oh. and more here… “Oh, Charlotte Bailey, she works at Museum 52“: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha bonk (laughed my head off).

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Hollybush Gardens…

Posted by cathedralofshit on April 22, 2010

We received a note to say they may also be closing. Anyone? Anyone? Anyone?

We hope it’s not true. If only for the fact they are called Hollybush Gardens and are based in BJ House. It’s funny in a ‘not at all funny’ way to us every time we visit.

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Posted by cathedralofshit on April 21, 2010

We’re sad to have heard (actually ages ago, but you know, we’ve been sworn to… ahem… secrecy) that Dicksmith Gallery is closing shortly. A particular shame as the current show is really very good.

Apparently Tom Hanbury is going to become a full-time scuba diving teaching on passing his PADI qualifications, and Rodolphe von Hoffmansthal will be moving to Preston to focus on his online traditional sweets and candies business.

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Posted by cathedralofshit on April 21, 2010

Okay. We were somewhat lazy in our report, but I’ve a full time job at Percy Ingle in Hackney and sometimes I have to update this on my LG smartphone in the back of the shop whilst pretending to check on the sausage rolls.

One story of the weekend was the continued bad behaviour of Swiss installation artist Mike Nelson Christoph Büchel. Rapidly becoming known as the most difficult artist in Europe to work with, Büchel allegedly threw a chair, a curator, a fax machine, five Bic biros, a Sony cube monitor and an intern’s lunch out of the window in a half-arsed Keith Richards moment. Unfortunately the exhibition is less “Let It Bleed” and more “Undercover“.

In other news, Jim Lambie has a fan. Though calling 46 year old Kaoru Motomiya a fan might be something of an understatement.
“No one seems sure as to whether it started after she came to Scotland or whether she may have come here because of Lambie.”
We’d like to actively encourage more art-world stalkers (not the maiming/murdering kind, just the hide-in-the-bushes kind). Have you stalked an artist before? Ever hidden behind Enrico David’s bins? Watched Richard Wentworth in Waitrose? Jogged behind Sally O’Reilly on the treadmill? Sent anonymous love-letters to Jay Jopling? I know! We have too! Let us know at
Best stalker wins a set of binoculars and a subscription to Flash Art.

[Thanks to you know who you are].

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Oh Flower of Scotland….

Posted by cathedralofshit on April 20, 2010

So, we made it up to Glasgow in our specially-rented veal cattle transporter art bus, picked up a special press pack and thought “fuck it” and went to Edinburgh instead. What a lovely city.

We heard that all was as expected. In art news, Jim Lambie made some shiny brightly-coloured stuff, some students nailed some angular forms together, CCA is still a bit of a lame duck and Douglas Gordon’s ’24 Hour Psycho’ is still running at Tramway.
In party news, apparently at the Modern Institute dinner St John gave their menu a Glasgow twist by deep frying each course and only serving a choice of Buckfast or Tennants, Kitty Anderson got drunk, the Modern Institute all got drunk, Optimo played a record 83 times over 3 days, and the police attended (a couple of times, but not for Kitty).

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What A Crock

Posted by cathedralofshit on April 15, 2010

After the shock news of Deitch becoming the Big Art-Wallah of LA MoCA recently, the general consensus was one of quiet confidence that the former dealer would bring money into the museum, and keep out of the programming. It seems not.
Deitch’s first announced show is with good-actor-bad-artist Dennis Hopper, whose hashed attempts over the last hundred years to show a body of relevant work is exactly the kind of exhibition most people have been dreading. Curated by ol’ crockery-face himself, Mr Julian Schnabel, one can only hope it’s not the beginning of a run of exhibitions that feature Jeff’s ‘famous mates’.
Just you wait, James Franco’ll be up next.

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Posted by cathedralofshit on April 15, 2010

It’s panic as the London art world scurries to buy train tickets for Glasgow as the skies fill with Icelandic ash (revenge of the Icelandic Gods for our financial wrongdoings?).
CoS are commandeering an articulated lorry to replace their sadly useless flight tickets. We’d be happy to pack all you Londoners on, battery-style, for an insignificant fee.

CoS are intending to take Glasgow by storm and perform the unperformable task of going to EVERY event and party in a kind of mind-blowing event marathon. We’ve been invited to so many, and have had messages from ‘up there’ displaying such giddy levels of excitement, it makes us wonder if anything happens in Glasgow between festivals?

We’ll tweet from each event so you can follow our trail. If we can be bothered to set up a Twitter account…

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“Vote Labour” says Gormster and others

Posted by cathedralofshit on April 14, 2010

Here at CoS we’re counting down the hours by eating fried chicken wings until the much-awaited ‘Make Your Mark’ posters for Labour are finally unveiled on some obscure website. For those of you who haven’t heard this is a brilliant strategy dreamed up by the Reverend Richard Greer and Alastair Darling’s Mum to get great artists like Anthony Gormley, Jeremy Deller and Banksy to exhort us to vote Labour. At the moment there’s a press embargo on them whilst the Guardian gets to exclusively masturbate over the images. Our undercover source at the Guardian says: “They’re totally shit. If anything would want me to vote for Dickhead Dave and Horny George it’s Anthony Gormley telling me which was to swing.” Gormley, 86, swings to the left (as previously revealed in the “Take the lift to my knackers” story printed somewhere below).

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