Cathedral of Shit

has taken a well earned GAP year

Archive for September, 2010

ForCASt: not good.

Posted by cathedralofshit on September 30, 2010

Word has reached the CoS editorial desk (back room, Subway, next to the Doritos boxes) from a current member of the board of the Contemporary Art Society. Not only has a ruck between Paul Hobson and Alison Myners been the catalyst for her leaving, but apparently several other board members are gearing up to follow her.
If CAS want CoS to find new board members, look no further. We can hook you up with some suitable candidates. Ekow Eshun’s free for example…

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43,000 and counting, or perhaps not

Posted by cathedralofshit on September 30, 2010

How many emails/Facebook requests/tweets have you recently had from our good chums working in the public arts sector asking for your signature on the lovely Save The Arts campaign because if they get 100,000 signatures David Cameron has promised the whole shebang will be debated in parliament? We’ve had fucking loads and signed the petition under several aliases but are sad that the petition hasn’t reached the half-way mark. Oh well, our sadness is usually quickly assuaged by a chicken-burger so that’s okay (like David Milliband we say, “don’t worry, we’ll be fine. Fine. FUCKING FINE.”) A quick Google reveals that the Whitechapel, South London Gallery, Photographers Gallery, Intercultural Arts (who?), Stephen Fry and a host of others are still pleading for those precious signatures. Except of course no-one in the arts public sector has actually bothered to read the relevant government document which states this:

“We will ensure that any petition that secures 100,000 signatures will be eligible for formal debate in Parliament. The petition with the most signatures will enable members of the public to table a bill eligible to be voted on in Parliament.”

For those of you who enjoy whacking one out to Con-Lib rhetoric here’s the link.

Hint: the key word in all of this is “eligible”. In the way that I am “eligible” to win the X-Factor. Or “eligible” to enter my mad doodlings into the RA Summer Exhibition with the hope of being picked up by Cabinet Gallery. Or “eligible” in that ‘this is never going to happen even if you do get 100,000 signatures which itself doesn’t look like happening because basically the whole petition-shebang has crawled to a halt and might actually go backwards when people see Yinka Shonibare MBE’s effort at drumming up support’ (no sign of giving up that MBE in protest there)…

Look guys and girls – we don’t work in the public sector. (We work at Subway on Mare Street). But isn’t it time you stopped whinging and tried to decode Con-Lib-Dem-Fuck government-speak to work out where the restricted money is going to come from (hint: it’s not ACE!). Have a great day, we’re off to fill our “Spicy Chilli Sauce” plastic bottles to squeeze on today’s special.

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ArseForum…

Posted by cathedralofshit on September 29, 2010

It was once a magazine packed full of intense debate on the nature of modernism. It’s now a strangely-shaped adjunct to its own glossy ‘Hello’ style website gossip column – and to celebrate here’s our favourite ever Artforum ‘Scene and Herd’ line: “Any event that seats Cecily Brown, Klaus Biesenbach, Rob Pruitt, Alison Gingeras, Normal Rosenthal, Carol Vogel, Ryan McGinley and Aurel Schmidt on the same table with Michelle Obama’s political director Ebs Burnough raises the bar on fun.”
Artforum, we salute you!

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Bad Medicine

Posted by cathedralofshit on September 29, 2010

So, on the day that Lehman Brothers went bust Hirst grossed £70,500,000 with his Christie’s fire sale (or at least that’s what he and they would have us believe). Amusing to see then that reality has caught up with the smug twat as his “We’ve Got Style (The Vessel Collection — Blue/Green)” medicine cabinet failed to attract a single bid at the Lehman liquidation sale. This was against the run of the sale which saw an above estimate return.

Time for Hirst’s hedge investors to dump some bad stock.

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What’s that?

Posted by cathedralofshit on September 29, 2010

You like street art, you say? What is it you like? The anti-capitalist mentality? That it’s anti-elitist? What, you’re a fan of the urban environment, you say? Oh. You have trouble finding the newest works by your favourite stencil artist?
Just HOW do you find new pieces? It’s not easy.

Why, you’re in luck!

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Keeping up with the Julia Peyton-Joneses

Posted by cathedralofshit on September 29, 2010

News on the street (park) is that JPJ, HUO and other three-letter-monikered Serpentine folk have acquired another building to expand the Serpentine empire.
Do we need any more Serpentine? Do we WANT any more Serpentine? Perhaps it a case of organisation-expansion-envy (see Whitechapel/SLG)?

HERE

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Art Povs

Posted by cathedralofshit on September 29, 2010

There are times we have to slightly manipulate the information we receive to write something worth reading (yes yes, and even then it’s often still a waste of my time and yours).
Sometimes, however, someone does something SO stupid, and offers us, on a big shiny platter, big hunk of juicy stupidity with a side order of deep fried imbecile to simply post. Makes our life easy, really.

This is one of those occasions.

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ICA

Posted by cathedralofshit on September 27, 2010

So, yes, it is Alison Myners. We did hear, however, that the reason she left CAS was because of an “it’s him or me” scenario with Paul Hobson…

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ICA and again and again.

Posted by cathedralofshit on September 25, 2010

So. We know who the new guvnor of the board of the ICA is going to be, but can’t say yet (ooh, the suspense). There’s a £5 WHSmith voucher we’ve had signed by Jake and Dinos in it if you can guess. (It’s still worth £5, don’t worry. It’ll get you the new Art Review).
Answers on an anonymous comment please.

We’ll let you know early next week.

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Oh deer.

Posted by cathedralofshit on September 24, 2010

It seems that the world’s worst gallery, Haunch of Venison, may be trumped in those stakes by their own makers, BlainSouthern. They are, as expected, making off with HoV’s stable of shiny artists.
Former yBa turned king of unnecessary overproduction Mat Collishaw has jumped ship and is reported to be the first show in their new temporary space – some info here on the Art Nespaper. Collishaw said he has always “enjoyed a fruitful working relationship with Harry Blain in the past”. For that read: “he always made me truck-loads of cash for my mediocre output”.

And as it’s Friday – here’s a delightful reminder of just how dreadful Bill Viola is, who has apparently also left for the big boy’s new gallery along with Rachel Howard, Anton Henning and Jeroen Verhoeven.

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