Not seen, but heard.

Artforum’s Scene and Herd seems to have forgotten who its readership is. Sarah Lehrer-Graiwer and Jeff Hassay, for you, forty lashes.

“All the while, Jeffrey Deitch fluttered about the room like a bespectacled moth, looking softly into peoples’ souls for a flicker of flame, a pleasant quarter-smile fixed on his face.”

“Diane Von Furstenberg glided through the eye candy, lifted by the airy waves of her coiffed frizz and donning conspicuously large sunglasses, at once perfectly fitting into the crowd and popping out like a calico cat in a room full of albinos.”

“The sexual tension in the room was so palpable you could wrap it in lettuce, dunk it in soy sauce, and take a big, crunchy bite out of it along with the other appetizers”