Cathedral of Shit

has taken a well earned GAP year

Swiss Role

Posted by cathedralofshit on March 14, 2011

As we all know Venice is sinking into the sea and the alps are rising. Less well known is that this is not as a result of global warming and shifting tectonic plates, but a conspiracy by the Swiss.
Every two years Swiss people like Harald Szeeman and Bice Curiger issue a huge carbon footprint disguised as culture called the Venice Bienniale. They import shiny things into this ancient city for a couple of months and sit back and laugh as lots of Americans, people employed by the Arts Council and Adrian Searle fly in to look at their own reflections in the shiny surfaces, drink prosecco, eat pizza, fall into the canals and complain about the heat. This whole exercise is in revenge for what John Ruskin said about the Swiss whilst rolling around ecstatically over the stones of Venice: “The Swiss …. have no character. The sluggish nature of the air of the valleys has a malignant operation on the mind; and even the mountaineers, though generally shrewd and intellectual, have no perceptible nationality: they have no language, except a mixture of Italian and bad German; they have no peculiar turn of mind; they might be taken as easily for Germans as for Swiss.”
Anyhow. More nonsense/evidence?artist line-up here:

2 Responses to “Swiss Role”

  1. Cindyincidentally said

    Hmmm Creed, Mellors and Warren are flying the flag for ….. something

  2. Swiss Tony said

    The Swiss also have French as a language, and their own Romanisch language, which is not related to German or strictly, Italian, but is an obscure Latin derivation, brought to them by the Romans, in the days when they would invade practically anything. However, it is only spoken in one or two cantons anymore, around Chur, for example. The ones I met were all pretty decent, but not into art – into BREAD!

    It’s true their curators are shit and most of their artists are as well (except Klee), but they know how to knock out a pretty decent choc and cuckoo clock, in my opinion. The fondue thing at least requires you to get absolutely shit-faced in the apres-ski, but it’s not something I can make a habit of. Anyone ever seen The Third Man? Remember Orson Welles’ (Harry Lime) speech on the Ferris wheel? Stability can be a curse. But I like it in my bank manager.

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