Cathedral of Shit

has taken a well earned GAP year

Archive for March, 2011

Let me be a spaceship

Posted by cathedralofshit on March 22, 2011

Hold the press! The Documenta website is launched today! And with it come the wise words of Artistic Director, Carolyn Christov-Bakargiev: “We live in tragic times, therefore we cannot take them tragically.”
Right-ho then – that’s lucky because what with Japan, Libya and the Ivory Coast we were getting a bit worried there. But Barking Bakargiev is right – we shouldn’t take that badly. Things could be worse – we could have the second worst inflation in Europe or something! Anyhow on the website itself, there’s a fashionable list of points and rhetorical questions. These are all fantastic – in particular the last question: “could dOCUMENTA 13 work as a spaceship or a cave?” And the answer to this is, “No it couldn’t, you mad old cow”.

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Posted by cathedralofshit on March 22, 2011

Wednesday 30th March is the day when ACE make their announcements as to this year’s Big Lottery (or perhaps that should be bonfire) of publicly-funded arts organisations. As Sir Alex Ferguson would say it’s certainly “squeaky bum time” (and he wasn’t talking about gay sex here) for all your friends who work in those benighted galleries, magazines and half-baked organisations up and down the country who depend on ACE’s largesse to keep their ramshackle asses going. There are 189 visual arts organisations up and and down the country who have been happily splashing your cash. There’s probably about 20 more new ones who’ve applied so we reckon around 30 of the existing ones will be slashed (don’t ask how we calculated this; it involved a multi-sided Dungeons & Dragons dice and some left-over miaow-miaow).

Just in case Julie Lomax hasn’t got round to picking out names from a hat yet we thought we’d help! Our favourite RFO’s for the chop are:

International Curators Forum – “the open conceptual network” that gets in 50k but really just goes on jolly jaunts
Afterall – the tremendously boring art magazine that serves as an advertising brochure for CSM
Iniva – the tremendously boring and wildly expensive organisation that does culturally diverse stuff ignoring the fact that segregation is over and Mandela is out of jail.
International 3 – a commercial gallery who take part in international art fairs shouldn’t really be getting tax-payers cash
Leicester City Council – like WTF?
Serpentine Gallery – they’ve got enough cash
Spike Island – chippy Bristolians
The Otolith Group – erm, they aren’t really an arts organisation are they?

Anyhow, good luck to all and one! May the best woman win etc!

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blog off

Posted by cathedralofshit on March 22, 2011

Hey fellow art-bloggers! Ever wondered why most art blogs are mind-numbingly shit? Watch this – Artist’s Newsletter’s incredibly dull guide to writing art blogs featuring a bloke called Tim and some bird who looks like a weather-presenter from the much lamented GMTV. We like the big A-N that they had especially fabricated. And we like the Cold War/Open University style presentation style. It’s so dull by the end of it you feel like gnawing your own arm off – a bit like Artists Newsletter itself!

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More Terrible Biennial News

Posted by cathedralofshit on March 14, 2011

PLEASE, can’t we just stay at home?

Check out the titles of these gems….


And here:

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Swiss Role

Posted by cathedralofshit on March 14, 2011

As we all know Venice is sinking into the sea and the alps are rising. Less well known is that this is not as a result of global warming and shifting tectonic plates, but a conspiracy by the Swiss.
Every two years Swiss people like Harald Szeeman and Bice Curiger issue a huge carbon footprint disguised as culture called the Venice Bienniale. They import shiny things into this ancient city for a couple of months and sit back and laugh as lots of Americans, people employed by the Arts Council and Adrian Searle fly in to look at their own reflections in the shiny surfaces, drink prosecco, eat pizza, fall into the canals and complain about the heat. This whole exercise is in revenge for what John Ruskin said about the Swiss whilst rolling around ecstatically over the stones of Venice: “The Swiss …. have no character. The sluggish nature of the air of the valleys has a malignant operation on the mind; and even the mountaineers, though generally shrewd and intellectual, have no perceptible nationality: they have no language, except a mixture of Italian and bad German; they have no peculiar turn of mind; they might be taken as easily for Germans as for Swiss.”
Anyhow. More nonsense/evidence?artist line-up here:

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Happy 200000th visit, CoS!

Posted by cathedralofshit on March 10, 2011

HAPPY 200.000 posts Cathedral of Shit!
Look at what we achieved! That’s right! Nothing! And we don’t even have any real true information!

As a birthday gift for us we thought we’d publish the weirdly intriguing search terms that lead you to CoS. Who Googles themself a lot? Who do you think writes CoS?! Who cares?!

Behold – the list!

SEE! How many of you can’t spell.
OBSERVE! The term ‘Elephant Spunk’ directly above Silke Otto-Knapp!
NOTE! The interest in Hannah Barry’s love-life!
WONDER! Why many of these people exist!
CONSIDER! Actually that’s it. We’re off to figure out why we exist ourselves.

Searches – All Time
Search Views
cathedral of shit 26,757
cathedralofshit 1,372
catherdral of shit 602
cathedral shit 551
hannah barry 391
cathederal of shit 374
colonel sanders 343
catheral of shit 294
“cathedral of shit” 253
mark sladen 223
swiss tony 173
anita zabludowicz 146
the cathedral of shit 126
anthea hamilton 125
darren flook 117
catherdal of shit 109
ekow eshun 105
cathedral of shit blog 102
cathdral of shit 101
rob tufnell 86
silke taprogge 72
carl kostyal 71
hannah barry anthony d’offay 68
adrian searle 65
kit hammonds 60
nicky verber 59
toby webster 58
swiss toni 57
matthew slotover 55
anita zabludowicz blog 53
cathedral of shite 52
sam orlofsky 50
cathedal of shit 48
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sarah mccrory 47
ekow eshun ica 47
sterling ruby pace 43
katja strunz 43
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catherdaral of shit 41
otolith group 40
isabella bortolozzi 40
cathedrals of shit 37
matthew arnatt 36
cathedreal of shit 36
anthony d’offay hannah barry 36
mark sladen ica 36
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baer 35
cathideral of shit 34
cathedra of shit 28
david shrigley save the arts 27
dicksmith gallery closing 27
otolith group turner prize 27
shit cathedral 26
tombola 26
david thorp ica 26
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micky schubert 23
zabludowicz 23
dennis hopper art 23
cathedrale of shit 22
cathedral fo shit 21
athedral of shit 21
jasper joffe 21
the otolith group 21
gregor muir 20
“mark sladen” 20
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zabludowicz blog 20
richard birkett ica 20
catedral of shit 18
sarah thornton blog 18
ryan gander 18
the colonel 18
cathedrial of shit 18
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the otolith group turner prize 17
ica ekow eshun 17
cathedrl of shit 17
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ivor aizenberg 16
cathedral of shit] 16
calum sutton pr 15
sarah thornton 15
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the modern institute 15
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jim lambie stalker 14 14
cathedral of shit hannah barry 14
cathredral of shit 14
mark rappolt 14
http://www.cathedral of shit 13
cathedrla of shit 13
thea djordjadze 13 13
elephant spunk 12
silke otto-knapp 12
anish kapoor shit 12 12
julia peyton jones 12
calum sutton 12
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“sam orlofsky” 12
tate britain occupation 12
karla black 12
catedreal of shit 11
cathedral od shit 11
julia peyton-jones 11
“polly staple” 11
anita zab 11
josh baer 11
anita zab blog 11
erica bolton 11
carl kostyal gallery 11
kitkat 11
marcus kleinfeld 11
kit kat 10
polly staple 10
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“tris vonna michell” 10
susan collis 10
cathedral of shit wordpress 10
http://www.cathedralofshit 10
cathedral of shiot 10
shrigley save the arts 10
ica mark sladen 10
“cheyney thompson” 10
cathedral of shit ica 10
frances stark 10
sven mundner 10
who writes cathedral of shit 10
tomma abts 10
cahtedral of shit 9
“darren flook” 9
guy perricone 9
cathedral of shitee 9
roger tatley 9
anthea hamilton artist 9
cathedral of shit art 9
sterling ruby “sterling ruby” 9
julian schnabel art 9
eshun ica 9
ctahedral of shit 9
cathedral of shit london 9
cathedraql of shit 9
lcatherdral of shit 9
luisa summers 8
save the arts david shrigley 8
cathederal shit 8
nottingham contemporary zebra 8
cathedral of shit art blog 8
hannah barry d’offay 8
cathedrall of shit 8
arts club dover street 8
lizzie neilson 8
cathedral of shits 8
“ekow eshun” 8

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A Message from the Dean of Camberwell…

Posted by cathedralofshit on March 9, 2011

This is no art college ‘insider’ more like outsider…

I can assure all readers Camberwell College has a strong undergraduate and postgraduate programme which goes from strength to strength with increasing levels of demand and one of the highest levels of student satisfaction within University of the Arts London. Amongst the courses we offer are: BA Painting/Sculpture/Drawing/Photography as well as many Design subjects including Graphic Design/Illustration and 3 D Design. At PG level we have Conservation, Book Arts, Illustration, Graphics, Fine Art, Digital Arts and Designer Maker. We have been here for over 100 years and have no intention of going anywhere. We have recently aquired student accommodation next to the college so that we can provide easier access to ALL our courses and facilities for our students.

I’m very happy to take the ‘insider’ on a personal tour to Camberwell to show them it is a thriving and dynamic college with a friendly community of students from a wide variety of backgrounds from across the world. I would also be delighted to take them to Peckham Square to visit our new gallery space called Peckham Space which brings together artists with local groups. Peckham Space welcomes over 1,000 visitors per month mainly from Peckham demonstrating a real connection between the college and local people.

The ‘insider’ clearly doesn’t know us at all or the success of our students, staff and courses!

Natalie Brett, Dean of Camberwell College of Arts

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Spring Offensive

Posted by cathedralofshit on March 6, 2011

Anyone read Afterall recently? Nope, neither have we. Issue 26, out now, looks at questions of pedagogy. The back cover bears an embarrassing advertisement for the piss poor teaching staff of Central St Martins and their ludicrously bad courses. Meanwhile their parents the University of the Arts are going Maoist. In Byam Shaw’s 101st year the University for the Arts have closed their library, shut their canteen, filled skips with equipment and banned the use of the name internally. The name is maintained publicly for fund raising purposes as Byam Shaw was once the London art school of choice for blue blooded types who were too stupid for proper university and are now stupid enough to donate money. Byam Shaw is, in all but name, about to become the MA department of CSM – click on the website and you’re mysteriously transported from Archway to a server somewhere between Charing Cross Road and Kings Cross. There’s so much doublespeak on the homepage there are even two ‘about’ options.

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Told you so…

Posted by cathedralofshit on March 6, 2011

Talk about getting off on the wrong foot…

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Art School Confidential

Posted by cathedralofshit on March 6, 2011

This from an art college ‘insider’…

Camberwell art college is going to scrap ALL of its courses apart from art foundation. It will be an art foundation only school which mans that the people of peckham/camberwell will have to put up with even more 18 year olds from the cotswalds swanning around laughing at Peckham locals and making diabolical art

– The slade is going to lose its massive and much used woburn research centre on woburn square. This means there will be pretty much zero space available to actually display work in for discussion etc as the main school is entirely studios, becoming increasingly cramped as the slade accept more and more students from abroad, as they pay more money, regardless of the quality of their work.

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