Cathedral of Shit

has taken a well earned GAP year

Posts Tagged ‘Charles Avery’

GOOOOooooooaaaaaaal!

Posted by cathedralofshit on July 8, 2010

Art and football, have they ever mixed? Remember Johnnie Shand Kydd’s moving photographs of Jay Jopling leaping up in front of a television showing the football? Or Max Wigram’s barking midfield orders during the late-lamented Zoo Art Fair football matches? Or collector Carl Kostyal in a pair of bikini briefs playing beach football in Miami? No, nor can we. Football brings out brilliant attempts at masculinity from all the gayers and effete wimps that make up the male art world, and we’re hoping for this in oodles with Art Review’s football day on Sunday. Ever wanted to see Charles Avery sweat like a stripper? Or Ash Lange pant like a friendly dog? If you have, head over to the five aside place in Shoreditch this Sunday you loser. But why, CoS wants to know, are neither Mark Rappolt or David Terrien, the hunky beefcakes at the helm of Art Review donning a pair of arse-rippling 70s football shorts and taking part? Surely they’re not just there for a day of eating canapes? And why are no women playing? I personally would have paid a fiver to see Sarah Thornton perform a sliding tackle.

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Posted by cathedralofshit on December 26, 2009

Christmas is over, and we at CoS are all very well rested and full to bursting with Christmas fayre.

So, final votes in….. here we go.

Most Ridiculous Idea For An Exhibition
And the nominees are:
POP LIFE
THE RUSSIAN LINESMAN
ANYTHING INVOLVING TOM MORTON
DAMIEN HIRST IN THE WALLACE COLLECTION

    And the winner is… DAMIEN HIRST. Of course.

Most Ludicrous Use Of Production Funds
The nominees:
MONIKA SOSNOWSKA AT FRIEZE
DOMINIQUE GONZALEZ-FOERSTER
EVERYTHING CONRAD SHAWCROSS HAS EVER MADE
ANISH KAPOOR AT THE RA
ANTHONY GORMLEY’S FOURTH PLINTH

    And the winner iiiiiis – GORMLEY. Need we explain?

Most Tiresome Self-Promoter
No nominees, just…..

    HANNAH BARRY. It just shows what you can do with a premium PR background.

Best Art Blog

SCENE AND HERD
ART FAG CITY
ANITA’S ‘ART’ BLOG
BRIAN SHOLIS
CATHEDRAL OF SHIT!

Winner: ANITA. We can never compete with such a high profile line up; Madonna, Stormin’ Norman Rosenthal, Nick Serota, Jon Bon Jovi, err, Graham Hudson, David Blandy and Max Wigram. So the extremes of the art celebrity scale then.

Here’s some reminders of her brilliance for your viewing pleasure.


The “Really? Is That Actually Good?! You Rate That? Huh.” Award to An Artist

KARLA BLACK
SILKE OTTO-KNAPP
CHARLES AVERY
KATJA STRUNZ
JOSH SMITH

Winner? All of them, in their own special way.

Moodiest Gallerist

NICKY VERBER
TOBY WEBSTER
ROB TUFNELL
MARTIN MCGOWAN

    Interesting, No women in there. Can you think of any moody women gallerists? Answers on a postcard (or comment, whichever you prefer). Oh, these lot, who’s won you say? God I’m bored of this. They can all win, miserable bastards.

and finally, the Cathedral Of Shit Award for the Person We’d Most Like To Just Change Career or Disappear Entirely As They Don’t Even Serve Us As An Object Of Mockery.

    GORMLEY/QUINN/TAYLOR-WOOD/HIRST/EMIN.


Special Mention for 2009 goes to SARAH THORNTON. For being special and talented.

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