Cathedral of Shit

has taken a well earned GAP year

Posts Tagged ‘Save The Arts’

43,000 and counting, or perhaps not

Posted by cathedralofshit on September 30, 2010

How many emails/Facebook requests/tweets have you recently had from our good chums working in the public arts sector asking for your signature on the lovely Save The Arts campaign because if they get 100,000 signatures David Cameron has promised the whole shebang will be debated in parliament? We’ve had fucking loads and signed the petition under several aliases but are sad that the petition hasn’t reached the half-way mark. Oh well, our sadness is usually quickly assuaged by a chicken-burger so that’s okay (like David Milliband we say, “don’t worry, we’ll be fine. Fine. FUCKING FINE.”) A quick Google reveals that the Whitechapel, South London Gallery, Photographers Gallery, Intercultural Arts (who?), Stephen Fry and a host of others are still pleading for those precious signatures. Except of course no-one in the arts public sector has actually bothered to read the relevant government document which states this:

“We will ensure that any petition that secures 100,000 signatures will be eligible for formal debate in Parliament. The petition with the most signatures will enable members of the public to table a bill eligible to be voted on in Parliament.”

For those of you who enjoy whacking one out to Con-Lib rhetoric here’s the link.

Hint: the key word in all of this is “eligible”. In the way that I am “eligible” to win the X-Factor. Or “eligible” to enter my mad doodlings into the RA Summer Exhibition with the hope of being picked up by Cabinet Gallery. Or “eligible” in that ‘this is never going to happen even if you do get 100,000 signatures which itself doesn’t look like happening because basically the whole petition-shebang has crawled to a halt and might actually go backwards when people see Yinka Shonibare MBE’s effort at drumming up support’ (no sign of giving up that MBE in protest there)…

Look guys and girls – we don’t work in the public sector. (We work at Subway on Mare Street). But isn’t it time you stopped whinging and tried to decode Con-Lib-Dem-Fuck government-speak to work out where the restricted money is going to come from (hint: it’s not ACE!). Have a great day, we’re off to fill our “Spicy Chilli Sauce” plastic bottles to squeeze on today’s special.

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Huge Savings

Posted by cathedralofshit on September 11, 2010

A big hearty slap on the back to all those lovely artists who have fronted the Save the Arts Campaign launched yesterday and easily outstripping the ‘Save Southampton Library’ rival campaign also running in the interweb world. Amongst the millionaires on the list calling for the government not to slash public subsidy for the arts is dear old Tracey Emin. Here at CoS we were pleasantly surprised as we recalled Tracey’s last political statements included her well-publicised declaration that she would rather locate to France than pay the top tax-rate of 50p: “I’m simply not willing to pay tax at 50%” and of course her equally well-publicised support for the Conservatives.

We also like the claim by Save the Arts that its taken 50 years to establish “a vibrant arts culture in Britain that is the envy of the world”. What happened before this magical 50 years period? Was it all a terrible wasteland out there of Paul Nash paintings and Roger Fry’s ramblings about the art of the bushmen? I mean, we all know that Vorticism was rubbish and the pre-Raphaelites were perverts.

Final suggestion: as we’re incredibly lazy and spend our days eating KFC from our dole money as a “lifestyle option” can someone put all these petitions together so we can sign in one place to save NHS Direct, the Arts, our boys equipment in Afghanistan and the ticket offices on the tube please? Save everything!

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