Cathedral of Shit

has taken a well earned GAP year

Out Of O(ri)fice Autoreply

Posted by cathedralofshit on August 6, 2010

We’ve got that Friday Feeling as copyrighted by the Cadbury’s ‘Crunchie’. The CoS office is like a carnival. There’s dancing and the potentially hazardous over-consumption of Malibu and pineapple juice before the lunching hour.
As the art world breaks up for the summer, off to sunnier climes, CoS are backpacking together in Thailand for a few weeks, retracing the route Leo DiCaprio took in The Beach.

By the time we return, before we’ve had a chance to get over our summer romances and gut-rot, cuts to the arts in the UK may be so severe we’ll be forced to possibly all get a proper job.
In a commercial gallery or something.

We leave you with some random top of the pops since the beginning of 2010.

Best/worst artists:
Alice Neel – ugly, boho, amateurish, retrograde nonsense. And sorry..how may times can the Whitechapel mention ‘Warhol’ in the wall texts?
Christian Boltanski – he has an archive of 35,000 heartbeats. Not mine. It stopped when I saw his work.
Marc Quinn – to be mentioned in every ‘worst artist’ list until our or his death, whichever comes first. Ours probably, self-inflicted, if we ever have to see one of those giant transgendered paperweights again.

Most ridiculous use of production funds:
Yinka Shonibare – it’s a big slave ship in a bottle with African fabrics as sails – get it? Awesome.
No Soul For Sale – what’s that you say? NO production funds? Oh. In that case…

Most ridiculous use of no production funds:
No Soul For Sale
Pumphouse Gallery

Gayest of the gay art mafia:
Thomas Houseago

Award for the biggest art ligger/hanger on:
A group prize for the Royal College Curating course
Ooh. This is too easy isn’t it? Send in your nominations via the comments please. (You can do this anonymously).

The Award for ‘I am actually, underneath my art credentials, a frightening Tory”
Traaaaaacccceeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyy!

The “What Were You Thinking?” Award:
The Board of the ICA…”well, he ran the Virgin in-flight magazine… he must be qualified”. Genius.
The Board of the ICA… “he’s young, he’s energetic… we can maybe push him around a bit”. Genius.

7 Responses to “Out Of O(ri)fice Autoreply”

  1. Byron Getwunfree said

    Can we not have a ‘Grooming Curator Award’ for Tom Morton who kindly uses his skills, acumen, position and bad hair to show young posh females, with double barrelled names, that he would like to pork ? Giggedy Giggedy

  2. anon said

    What happened to the which Quinn is worst category?

  3. anon said

    Dr Quinn, that flaming medicine woman.

  4. anon said

    Ray Quinn.

  5. anon said

    Wlliam F. Quinn r.i.p.

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